Our Journey

Lots of things to update!  I never thought our journey to parenthood would be so hard and yet at the same time bring us closer together and more prepared than ever.  We have had a very rough year.  Started out with the horrible ultrasound last year in September which was my last post.  I figured I would fill you all in on what has happened with us during the last year throughout our journey.  We decided to wait for a miscarriage to happen naturally.  At the time we just felt like this was the natural thing to do.  We waited for 5 weeks and nothing happened.  At that point we decided we were ready to move on from this pregnancy.  While we were waiting we obviously couldn't try to conceive another child and we needed to close that chapter.  I ended up having a D & C on October 18th.

We had to sit out a month before trying again.  Obviously the right thing to do, but it was still very frustrating!  It was very hard to have everything we could have wanted ripped away from us so quickly.  We kept hoping we would have a positive test before Christmas so that we could surprise our families with a cute announcement or an ultrasound picture, but that was not meant to be.  After our December cycle I realized I was crazy stressed out about getting pregnant again and I needed to take a break and relax.  I felt guilty for not enjoying the holidays simply because I was stressing about whether or not I'd be pregnant.  So in January I relaxed and we didn't try as hard.

On January 17th I was having excruciating pain on the right side of my abdomen, but very low where the appendix is located.  I seriously felt like I was dying and someone was stabbing me over and over and over.  I thought it might mean that I was pregnant (8 days past ovulation) and having an ectopic pregnancy.  I thought maybe my appendix was going to rupture.  I had no idea, but it was horrible and excruciating.  I took a pregnancy test just to check because I thought I might be able to rule that out.  Well the test was positive so we were excited, but because of the pain obviously very hesitant.  I ended up going to the family doctor who ruled out appendicitis.  Called my OBGyn and they did an ultrasound.  They could see fluid build up and decided that I must have had an ovarian cyst that ruptured and I had fluid behind my right ovary and in my uterus.  They took hcg quants and they came back at 3,207 which was very good for that stage of pregnancy and ruled out ectopic.

Craig and I were waiting on pins and needles for the second hcg results which would indicate a pending miscarriage or a healthy and potential viable pregnancy.  On Friday, January 20th we found out my hcg level dropped to 976.  We were on our way to another miscarriage.  I was devastated, Craig was devastated, and we wanted to know what we could test for to prevent another miscarriage.  I had to have quants done for two weeks to make sure the numbers were falling.  By February 16th I was down to 1 and we had the go ahead to try after my next cycle.  In the mean time I requested progesterone testing, testing for clotting disorders, etc.  Every test that was ordered came back negative.  Each were one more thing that I could check off the list of being the problem, but we still didn't have an answer.  I ended up deciding that I did not like the doctor's office.  They acted like miscarriages were no big deal and I just needed to get over it.  That did not fly well with Craig or me.  We felt that they could at least empathize.  I ended up changing to a new doctor in Raleigh instead of Greenville.

I had my first appointment with my new doctor April 19th, 2012.  She was so helpful and reassuring and we came up with a game plan and then decided that if we weren't pregnant by the end of August that she wanted me to come back in to see her and we would create a new game plan.  I really felt for the first time since my miscarriage in September that someone had validated my feelings and concerns.  Someone empathized with me and wanted to help figure out how to prevent another miscarriage.  She felt that my progesterone levels were slightly low and said with my next cycle she wanted me to start a progesterone supplement.  I kept getting the run around from my insurance, but eventually received approval from the insurance company and started the supplements.