CF Testing

The doctor's office called this morning to let me know that I (Amber) am a carrier for CF.  Now Craig is going to get tested to see if he is a carrier.  If he is not a carrier then our children could be carriers, but cannot have CF.  If Craig is a carrier then we have a 1 in 4 chance that our baby will have CF.  Keep us in your thoughts and prayers!  I know that we will love this baby no matter what, but the results put my nerves a little on edge.  Just trying to remember that God is in control and won't give us more than we can handle.

Twelve Weeks

This week we went to the beach with our friends Denise & Brett.  It was nice to be in the water and feel weightless.  There is just something about the ocean that makes me relax!  We also went to the Kids Exchange in Raleigh on Sunday with Jarrett and Tiffany.  Our first Kids Exchange experience was very overwhelming!  There was so much stuff, so many clothes, and so many PEOPLE!  We felt that we would be able to find more once we know whether we are having a boy/girl.  Most things were gender specific so we obviously don't want to stock up on the wrong stuff.  We had a great time and ate at P.F. Chang's for the first time.  Tried to go to the pool to enjoy the sun with Dana, but we got rained out.  Literally steps from the pool and it starts thundering!

Here is a picture of Denise and me headed out to the beach:

 Here is the "official" 12 week photo.  Definitely getting a little bump which makes me very excited!

Second Doctor's Appointment

Went in for my second appointment yesterday at 11w4d.  The doctor used the doppler in the office to check for a heartbeat.  She said at this point they just wanted to make sure there was a baby big enough to hear the heartbeat and that we passed.  The heartbeat was again in the 150s which she said was perfect.  Next appointment is in four weeks on August 16th.  At that appointment we will get to schedule the anatomy scan!  I keep having a hard time not buying clothes and other cute things for baby.  I know that I will want to pick out gender specific things too so I am really trying to hold off!  The Kids Exchange in Raleigh is this weekend.  Hoping to go and scope out some items that we need.  Trying not to go overboard.  The next one won't be until the end of January and I'll be full term pregnant so we are just trying to look while we have the chance.  Hope everyone has a great weekend!

Using the Doppler

We ordered a doppler (might sound a little crazy) for peace of mind.  I feel like it has been the best investment!  I have only used it a few times, but it has been  helpful to keep me sane and calm.  Heart rate is usually somewhere between 150 and 160.  Found it as high as 170 before, but not normally that high.

Link to video.

Nine, Ten, & Eleven Weeks

I took my first official belly picture at 9w5d:

Official 10 week belly pic:

We went to Tennessee with Craig's family this week.  Here are a few pictures from that trip:

Official Eleven Week Belly Pic:

Telling Our Family

We were really excited to tell our families when we went home in June for Craig's dad's ordination.  We went to my grandmother's house on my dad's side and saw them during the day.  We hadn't told our family yet so we didn't want to announce to the whole extended family.  We ended up waiting until we got home.  My mom opened her "surprise gift" and found a collage (see below) and a onsie that said "I ♥ Grandma".  My mom was surprised and didn't even know that we were pregnant.  At this point I figured she had guessed.  I kept asking her about VOC free paint to help them at their house in Kentucky...it was funny.  


Here is the collage that was enclosed in their gift:

Video of my family's response.

We went to Craig's parent's house on Sunday the 24th for church and for KC to be ordained.  We gave his mom a gift which seemed odd since his dad was the one being ordained.  We tried to smooth talk it saying that we knew she worked hard to get him through school.  I guess it worked.  In between the morning service and ordainment service we told Craig's whole family we were expecting.  We gave his mom a onsie that said "I ♥ Mimi".  The whole family was very excited for us!  


Video of Craig's family's response.

First Ultrasound

So the first 3 weeks of waiting for the ultrasound went by very quickly and we were able to keep busy.  I kept focusing on a healthy baby and praying, praying, praying.  Something I forgot to mention in the last post is that one of my coworkers gave me a Rudshaka seed from the Himalayas.  In his culture these seeds are five sided and meant to bring good luck.  I was very touched by this gesture and couldn't believe how thoughtful he was.  He gave me the seed at the beginning of May and then only a few weeks later we had our positive test.  I'm not saying that it was 100% that seed, but I thought it was an interesting thing to mention.

The last week of waiting once I was out of work was pure torture.  I did really well until a couple days before and then I felt like I was worried sick!  I of course was also very nauseated and actually getting sick sometimes.  So that did help to settle my mind, but it was still really difficult to wait all week and not know whether everything was okay or if we were going to see another missed miscarriage.  Fortunately this is the image we were able to take home:

We are so thankful for a healthy and growing baby!  Baby was measuring between 7w3d and 7w5d so we decided to go with February 3rd as the official date!  This is definitely a mother's day baby.  Crazy to think of how many blessings God has given us in the last few weeks.  God timed everything perfectly down to a Mother's Day conception.  How perfect!  Heart rate was high and the doctor said everything looked perfect.  Now the four week wait for my next appointment on July 19th.

Our Rainbow

I have been praying diligently for God to help me relax and stop worrying about when we will get pregnant.  I prayed a 100 or more times that God would surprise me with a positive pregnancy test.  All this time I really didn't let go of charting or anything else because I wanted to be in control.  After my doctor's appointment I decided that for the new cycle I would just using OPK's (ovulation predictor kits) instead of charting.  This way I would not be stressed about my temperatures and I wouldn't have the daily reminder and analysis of what was going on with my chart, etc.  So May started out and I was relaxed and I tried really hard not to care about when I was going to ovulate (yes I know weird to be posting all of this).  I was using OPK's and by the time I made it to day 24 of that cycle I still hadn't gotten a positive and I was really frustrated because I really wanted to have an idea whether or not I'd ovulated.  I tried really hard not to focus on it and we had a lot of fun on the weekends.  We went out with friends and enjoyed life.  Went to the NC Fest one weekend, went out to dinner with friends, just enjoyed being the two of us.  

Well on May 23 when I got home from work I thought I was feeling a little funny.  I was worried that I hadn't ovulated yet and that what the heck I might as well go ahead and check to see if I was pregnant.  I mean I bought 25 tests off amazon and it would cost me 20 cents to check so whatever.  I tried the OPK and the pregnancy test.  I watched the pregnancy test for about 30 seconds and then decided I knew a negative test when I saw one and threw it out.  I then checked the OPK later and saw it was negative.  I was still wondering what was going on because I was feeling a little off.  We went to our friend's house for dinner and I didn't think twice about the pregnancy test.  We got home and of course I decided that I should probably check the test to make sure it really was negative...well we got a little surprise because it was POSITIVE!  I was freaking out and shaking.  Of course I didn't believe the test so I took another one of the same kind and other one of a different brand.  So you can see those tests below:  All POSITIVE!  

Craig and I were both weary.  I had not yet missed my period and we thought anything could happen given our past experiences.  The next day I went out and bought more tests/different brands just to check again...I know seems a little crazy now, but at the time not so crazy.  

This is a picture of the tests made pretty for our due date.  We were guessing February 3/4th, 2013!

My sister graduated from high school a couple days later and we went home to Ohio for her graduation.  We had a SUPER hard time keeping the news to ourselves, but we really wanted to be able to show them a healthy ultrasound before we got their hopes up.  Somehow we kept quiet and no one guessed our news.  Not even my mom who I was sure thought something funny was going on.  Of course one night I ate a whole jar of pickles (which I actually do even when I'm not pregnant) and he joked, "Who needs a pregnancy test when you've got a jar of pickles!"  It was actually right on the money, but I acted as if I was offended and told him we wouldn't know for a couple more weeks.  

When we got back from Ohio I decided I needed to take another test (this is the last one I promise!):

The test on the left was from 5/24 and the test on the right was from 5/28 so now the test line was darker than the control line.  I was ecstatic.

From the day we found out we were pregnant I started praying that no matter what happens with this pregnancy I will be okay and Craig and I will be okay.  I have been praying to God that our baby makes it safe and sound to full term.  I believe He gave me a sign on our road trip back from Ohio when we saw a double rainbow.  It was a beautiful sight and it had been months since I'd seen a rainbow.  Peace just washed over my soul and I started feeling like everything was going to be okay.  

We probably could have requested to have hcg levels checked early on to help determine viability, but decided that it would just make us more nervous.  We decided to just pray for the best and go to the ultrasound.  Our first ultrasound was scheduled for June 21st.

Our Journey

Lots of things to update!  I never thought our journey to parenthood would be so hard and yet at the same time bring us closer together and more prepared than ever.  We have had a very rough year.  Started out with the horrible ultrasound last year in September which was my last post.  I figured I would fill you all in on what has happened with us during the last year throughout our journey.  We decided to wait for a miscarriage to happen naturally.  At the time we just felt like this was the natural thing to do.  We waited for 5 weeks and nothing happened.  At that point we decided we were ready to move on from this pregnancy.  While we were waiting we obviously couldn't try to conceive another child and we needed to close that chapter.  I ended up having a D & C on October 18th.

We had to sit out a month before trying again.  Obviously the right thing to do, but it was still very frustrating!  It was very hard to have everything we could have wanted ripped away from us so quickly.  We kept hoping we would have a positive test before Christmas so that we could surprise our families with a cute announcement or an ultrasound picture, but that was not meant to be.  After our December cycle I realized I was crazy stressed out about getting pregnant again and I needed to take a break and relax.  I felt guilty for not enjoying the holidays simply because I was stressing about whether or not I'd be pregnant.  So in January I relaxed and we didn't try as hard.

On January 17th I was having excruciating pain on the right side of my abdomen, but very low where the appendix is located.  I seriously felt like I was dying and someone was stabbing me over and over and over.  I thought it might mean that I was pregnant (8 days past ovulation) and having an ectopic pregnancy.  I thought maybe my appendix was going to rupture.  I had no idea, but it was horrible and excruciating.  I took a pregnancy test just to check because I thought I might be able to rule that out.  Well the test was positive so we were excited, but because of the pain obviously very hesitant.  I ended up going to the family doctor who ruled out appendicitis.  Called my OBGyn and they did an ultrasound.  They could see fluid build up and decided that I must have had an ovarian cyst that ruptured and I had fluid behind my right ovary and in my uterus.  They took hcg quants and they came back at 3,207 which was very good for that stage of pregnancy and ruled out ectopic.

Craig and I were waiting on pins and needles for the second hcg results which would indicate a pending miscarriage or a healthy and potential viable pregnancy.  On Friday, January 20th we found out my hcg level dropped to 976.  We were on our way to another miscarriage.  I was devastated, Craig was devastated, and we wanted to know what we could test for to prevent another miscarriage.  I had to have quants done for two weeks to make sure the numbers were falling.  By February 16th I was down to 1 and we had the go ahead to try after my next cycle.  In the mean time I requested progesterone testing, testing for clotting disorders, etc.  Every test that was ordered came back negative.  Each were one more thing that I could check off the list of being the problem, but we still didn't have an answer.  I ended up deciding that I did not like the doctor's office.  They acted like miscarriages were no big deal and I just needed to get over it.  That did not fly well with Craig or me.  We felt that they could at least empathize.  I ended up changing to a new doctor in Raleigh instead of Greenville.

I had my first appointment with my new doctor April 19th, 2012.  She was so helpful and reassuring and we came up with a game plan and then decided that if we weren't pregnant by the end of August that she wanted me to come back in to see her and we would create a new game plan.  I really felt for the first time since my miscarriage in September that someone had validated my feelings and concerns.  Someone empathized with me and wanted to help figure out how to prevent another miscarriage.  She felt that my progesterone levels were slightly low and said with my next cycle she wanted me to start a progesterone supplement.  I kept getting the run around from my insurance, but eventually received approval from the insurance company and started the supplements.